Anger, anger and more anger...

     I have been dreaming a lot lately and all of my dreams are filled with rage. In my dreams I am always yelling and saying how I really feel about everyone. The anger is slowly starting to infiltrate my entire mind. I don't know if I will be able to contain all of the rage that is inside me. I think about it daily, hourly, minute by minute. I thought I had my emotions under control but, it would appear that the wall I put around it is cracking. I want to yell and scream at everyone that is hurting me. Rage and sadness are going hand and hand through my thoughts. I get sad and then the rage takes over. The rage speaks to me. It asks why am I sad? I am not the one who has done anything wrong, it is them! They are the ones who are treating me so bad. They are the ones causing me to cry and feel worthless. So the rage is seething beneath the surface. I am trying to keep it in check, but I am slowly losing the battle. I don't want to become that hate and rage filled person that I was. We really need to move away from my family and Jeremy's family and just be on our own again. I don't want to lock away my emotions again, the rage won't be contained a second time if it is let loose.