Since January...

     March....another spring that I will miss. A spring on the east coast, with flowers and flowering trees and spring showers. Another spring spent in the hot, flowerless desert. I miss the flowers, the green and the smell of clean air. Another year spent in a place of brown and solitude. My hope is waning....

     Anna turned 10 a few days ago. I can't believe it has been 10 years. Sometimes it seems like 20 years since she was born. The time doesn't feel like it's flown by, but feels like it has taken 2 lifetimes to get to this point. I think I did good, I didn't cry this year.

     I had another huge fight with my mother. Nothing new there, but I gave up my stance. I just don't have enough energy to fight or the willpower.

     We find out at the end of the month if Kristan's baby is a girl or a boy. I think it will be a boy. The next day Dan ships out to Afghanistan. He will miss the birth and first 6 months of his first child's life. So sad for all of them. Kristan is going to stay with her mother in NC, until he get's back...if he comes back. I am glad she will not be in NY by herself. I was so worried about her.

     I got an email from Andrea. Her and Jeremy are going to come out and go to Sedona in May and they want to stop by. I said sure. They are coming over for dinner the night they get into town. I hope everything goes well that night. I don't know yet what I am making. I am trying not to stress about it too much. I am just praying that we all get through dinner and start moving on from the past. I am beyond ready...I think. My emotions and my feelings are all over the place when it comes to her. We shall see.