August 3, 2009

I am so beyond hurt and pissed off right now. Blair comes over and starts her shit and now Dan won't talk to me. We were "friends" on Facebook, and now because I ask a question regarding Blair, Dan said he doesn't want to be friends with me because no one is getting along. You know what Jeremy and I have not said one word about all the crap that has been going on, we have kept Dan completely out of it, just so he wasn't in the middle of all this and I still get punished. How is that fair? I have cried about this, I'm still crying actually, and I am angry at the same time. Why do I let my family keep hurting me? Why can't I just write them off? Because I'm a sucker that's why. I still have hope, and hope is a bitch!!! It destroys all your common sense. I was kinda talking to Kristan about it, and then I realized I was putting her in the middle, so I shut up. She said Dan called her all upset, what a jerk. He made this situation and now he wants to cry about it? What a load of bullshit!!! All he had to do to stay out of it was not comment on the subject. I have to stay out of crap too, and if you just refuse to comment either way, then you are not in the middle of it. He can be friends with Eric, who screwed him over, and Doug, who caused our Dad trouble, and Grady who he hardly knows and he is a criminal, but NOT ME!!!! When I have done nothing to him! That is the most ridiculous, lame brained thing I have ever heard. Maybe the heat over in Iraq has melted the reasoning part of his brain. I am so upset though, I don't know whether to cry hysterically or scream with rage. Why do people give you hope of a loving caring relationship and then rip it away from you? Why are people a constant disappointment? I just expect the same love and respect that I give, in return, is that beyond most people's capabilities? I just feel like giving up on people all together. I don't see the point of caring anymore. I will just keep to my husband and girls and my animals.